(BOG REVIEW) "THE GATE" (HORROR, RELEASED 1987)

Another quick-fire drop with The Gate, which the metal stenchers have mentioned a lot to Bog, so he fired up the vault and looked back to the 20th century to see if it was different from "The Gate" which plagues our current time.

Two suburban kids—Glen (a young Stephen Dorff) and his metalhead best friend Terry—are left home alone for the weekend.

Terry is essentially an apprentice mullet that enjoys shadow moshing to heavy metal in his room and scaring demons away with mosh faces while successfully playing with an invisible fretboard. It's impressive.

So, after an old tree gets dug up in the backyard, they discover a mysterious, smoking geode and a massive hole in the dirt.

Terry, the prodigal mullet, happens to have an underground heavy metal record containing a hidden occult book in the gatefold sleeve. When they read the lyrics and drop blood into the hole, they accidentally open a portal to an ancient dimension of demonic Old Gods right under their house. The gods don't appear interested in watching the top 100 best cars or discussing the nature series Sheep Farming with Robert.

The Standout Parts:

• The Album Gatefold Occult Guide: The entire plot moves forward because Terry has an underground metal LP called The Dark Book by a band named Sacrifyx. The gatefold jacket explicitly serves to drive the plot forward with how to summon ancient demons and portals to hell for peaceful retreats. It captures the myth of the panic from that era where heavy metal records were feared to contain hidden demonic messages or rituals.

• The Minion Swarm: Not to be confused with 21st-century minions, although they were maybe a forerunner to them. Not sure which is more terrifying: tiny, booger-like creatures that look like they evolved from something that dropped out of your nostrils, or the later cringe-voiced fiends. Bog does respect them using practical effects for the claymation goblin minions that spend most of the film running around the house like hyperactive demonic toddlers.

• The Construction Worker in the Wall: One of the most iconic practical effects scenes involves a zombie construction worker who falls out of the drywall, breaks apart into dozens of those tiny Minions, and scurries away under the furniture. Bog thought this scene was pretty cool and entertaining. It's a memorable moment and a standout of standouts.

• Defeating a Demon Lord with a Toy Rocket: A toy rocket is used to defeat a giant, multi-armed, angry, shaved penis monster posing as an ancient Demon Lord that Bog would have named Rigid Ron. 

The demon has risen through the floorboards and is defeated by, yes, a toy model rocket. It was fortunate that Glen didn't buy the model from Greed Workshop, who would have charged $900 just for the casing with additional fees, and several books to come one after the other updating the updates before it could even be used. Glen was lucky to avoid this problematic situation and was free to engage in the described climactic battle with Rigid Ron.

• The Eyeball Hand: Glen gets stabbed in the hand, and an open, blinking eyeball grows directly inside his palm, leading to some classic, gross-out body horror moments while he tries to fight off the house invasion. This is another memorable scene from the movie.

The Sonic Atmosphere:

The score is highly unique, composed by Michael Hoenig and J. Peter Robinson. It completely ditches standard Hollywood orchestras for a dark mix of experimental synthesizers, eerie electronic drones, and heavy, atmospheric tension tracking. Plus, the underground metal tracks from the fictional band Sacrifyx add a perfect, fuzzy, old-school proto-black/death metal aura to the background mix, which increases the vibe and atmosphere all around.

Bog's Thoughts:

An entertaining, fun movie with some good practical effects and notable scenes, making it easy to see why it has achieved cult status.

Bog will never look at his boogers in the same way. You never know—they may sprout little arms and legs, then start running around interfering with his anti-golf activities.

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