(BOG REVIEW/LORE) - "SHITE NIGHT" - "A DEEP PLUNGE WITH THE RINSER 101" (21ST CENTURY TOILETS, HISTORY)

'Twas the night of shite and a deep, plunging fright when Bog sat upon a central command of another manner, which was able to catch the designated numbers of "1" and "2."
Comfort: Abysmal. If not for one of the mechs fitting stabilizers, then Bog would have felt most uncomfortable when the swaying began while thuds hit the water.
Hairs from thighs can become a little stuck to the seat, which makes it somewhat painful when rising too quickly.
Overall, Bog has sat on worse, but there are some things lacking.
Audio: The epic reverb was impressive. The ploppenings bounced around the walls, letting the whole swamp and camp know that Bog was busy. There is potential for a number of big-room effects, which can easily announce the impact you make.
Design: It is 3032. It might have looked nice back in your time, but our mechs had to mod it up a little. They forgot about the stabilizers; I'm sure they wanted to test Bog's balance control.
Bog guesses it has a neoclassical, post-p*ss, surrealist, impressionist, abstract, post-p*ss vibe combined with post-trash used as an excuse for art when it's a f*c-k-i-n-g- potato hanging from the ceiling with metallic spray coating it—all while strange humans applaud with glee, shouting, "Oh, super!"
Flush: This is where the Rinser 101 has mixed results. The flush was loud—no subtlety, no quiet. Bog growled and roared as he pressed the button to bring forth the cleansing wave. Most would like a quiet, pleasant experience; not Bog. He wanted all to hear the power.
It is a wall-shaking flush that finely transmits the signal to all that you just finished giving vitamins back to the land.
It flushes down the barges with ease, but the power comes at a cost.
For those expecting it to be a full polish—no, nope. Mud marks remain, and there is a noticeable curl at the bottom, reminiscent of a wide, arcing corner on a dirt track.
This was probably more of a design issue back then; the flush didn't vanquish it after multiple attempts. But for the artistically inclined, as mentioned with the neoclassical impressionist p*ss, then you may warmly appreciate the paint strokes.
Lacking Extras:
Tales were handed down to us about toilets that had noticeable comforts for butts.
One thing Bog did observe: no stretch-out mini bath for the balls. It would have been nice for a little wash, fragrance, and the feeling of warm air gushing over them to leave you with that reinvigorated feeling.
No built-in soundtrack: Some models back then had beautiful soundtracks to honor the event. Not this brand. We did research the model number and found an archive that stated it came with "reassuring and appropriately toneful harmonic music to help calm tense moments."
Clearly, they were boasting beyond themselves when they marketed the product.
Bog's Thoughts:
One of the benefits of our time is that there are many places we can quickly run and do our drops, and not worry about syncing them with a flush.
But Bog looked at this for when we want to enjoy a quiet moment away from the outer wilds, or perhaps you want to deploy it quickly to take in the night sky when on recon.
Not bad; capacity is quite good. The flush flushes, but don't expect its outer waves to expel the artistic marks around the circumference.
When wiping, it doesn't catch dry flakes, so that's not bad.
It's not high caliber; for practicing balance control, we wouldn't recommend it unless one of the mechs adjusts it with viable components.
But if you enjoy stenchy afterthoughts, then you will be at home with the Rinser.
The Rinser 101 is available wherever you can find it.


















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